Saturday, January 22, 2011

Nearly one whole week later...

and I finally find the time to get my update done! And what a week it's been - one that has given me that much needed lift I needed. I've been so motivated this week and not just by the fact that - yes, it's actually coming off - but also with the fact that the Capricorn side of my nature has really kicked in. Big time!

but first - yes, I have lost weight - nearly half a stone has gone from my wobbly belly bits (not that it's time to run out and buy that bikini just yet). I feel like I did years ago when I used to go with my mum to her UniSlim classes - "yes, I have been very good this week, I stuck to my eating plan, didn't give into temptation and did my exercises every night - can I have a gold star now please?" But I'm really proud of myself, every night when the kids have finally gone to sleep, I've come back down, got out MY balance board (cos it is mine now!) and done an hour on the WiiFit. I've stood religiously at the start with my eyes closed while it told me my weight and BMI, and then sighed a huge sigh of relief that both had come down. Don't ask me about the BMI, that's still way too technical for me at this stage, but I've watched my weight come down every night by 1lb and I am so made up with that. I'm having a break from it tonight after injuring myself last night - nothing serious thankfully - just got over excited with the kung fu and jammed my elbow too hard. So I'm under instruction from "Dr" Tony (my love) that I'm to rest up for a few days and start again on Monday.

And I hate it! Okay, I've got loads I could be doing - knitting, reading, cleaning the house... but for once in my life I want to get up in front of the portable telly and exercise. Maybe it's my age kicking in - I'm more mature now and can appreciate it better - but suddenly it's not a chore anymore, I'm actually enjoying myself! Of course the fact that I can see the weight coming off is a huge incentive but it's not just that - suddenly all this activity they tried to make me do at school is fun. That and the fact that I'm also now a yoga master and a hula-hoop expert ;0)

Anyway, one thing that has become really apparent this week is that I am one of the most competitive people out there. I have had inklings of this for years but boy has it really come to the fore this week. The reason - I've got friends trying to lose weight as well...

For some reason the fact that at least 4 of my friends are going through the same struggle as me has brought the goat out of hiding and made me determined that they can not - will not - lose more weight than me! Some of them are back home in Belfast and I hope to see them when I get home later this year, but they've always known me as being the biggest one of our group and just the thought of seeing their shocked faces when I meet them again after 20+ years has got me hula-hooping like a mad woman. Not that I don't want them not to lose any weight (did that make sense?) but I want my weight loss to be noticeable. Of course we'll all meet up and none of that will matter but at the minute with the Irish Sea between us all it seems too.

So right now, I'm sitting here on my own-some, resisting the urge to get that white plastic rectangle out - I'll do it tomorrow. I'm putting my inner 16 year old Capricorn self away and I'm going to relax for the first time in ages. No TV, no kids, just me and my laptop (cos I've commandeered that from Tony too!)

Roll on tomorrow....

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Starting Out

Okay - bear with me here. I'm a woman on a mission and that mission is to finally shed all the weight that is the result of almost a lifetime of dieting and having six beautiful children.

I can do it - I have done it in the past. About 12 years ago I lost a hell of a lot of weight to the point that I worried everyone - my mum would phone my work every day just to ask my colleagues if I was actually eating. The truth is that I basically lost my appetite for almost 6 months - if I wasn't hungry I wouldn't eat. Of course, once it came back, so did the weight - thankfully not as much as I'd lost so I could live with that. Until I got pregnant with my eldest son 10 years ago. The I made the ultimate mistake - eating for two. Six months after he was born, on his first Christmas day I weighed myself and nearly died when I hit the scales at 15stone. Tony had made a comment just before we discovered I was pregnant that if I got that big he'd leave me so the panic set in. Thankfully I got an engagement ring instead but the race was on - I had a wedding to plan afterall and that's when Dr Atkins became my bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Until February this year I'd spent nearly ten years living a low carb life and it was working great. Of course I stopped the minute I found out I was pregnant and then carry on again after their first birthday and it seemed to work. After each pregnancy I'd weigh myself and discover that I'd only put on half a stone more than what I'd weighed before the pregnancy and each time I'd get to at least a stone more than I'd lost before. But this time it's basically been a bitch.

My youngest and lastest baby Jessica was born in October 2009 and when I fell pregnant I was 11 and a half stone - the lightest I'd been in years. After she was born I went up to 12st and I was content with that - it had come off before and it would come off again! But life had other plans. In February 2010, my mother-in-law finally lost her battle with breast cancer and I couldn't go over to the funeral and tell my father-in-law that I couldn't eat what he'd cooked, now could I? So for a week I ate carb-rich food, all the time thinking I'd be fine when I got home. Another problem was the fact that Tony had bought me a bread machine for my birthday and, well, I'm from Belfast - we can't make anything without trying it now can we? But the crunch came in June 2010 - two things happened. We closed our business and my George Foreman grill that we got as an engagement present from his parents finally died a death. Suddenly I was at home all day with the kids and, whereas at work I could keep myself busy and not think about food, suddenly I was spending the summer holidays with bottomless pits and no healthy way to cook what I wanted. Tony tried his best to help but fried bacon or sausages every morning rather than grilled started to take their toll. And so I fell into the trap of eating the same food as the kids (who need the carbs) and picking through out the day.

And so we come to now. Today. I weighed myself last week for the first time since February 2010 and thankfully I've only put on half a stone but it's brought me to the heaviest I've been for over four years and I'm not happy. For some reason it's really affected me and I've decided enough is enough! It's all or nothing and time to get shot of it. For GOOD! So it's back on the wagon, once again adapting the Low-Carb Atkins diet to suit me. I will be smart about it, I refuse to deprive myself and if I feel like some bread or potatoes then I will have them but I need to stick to both it and my exercise routine - which is why I'm doing this. Think of this as my personal diary - I have to be perfectly honest and blunt here or it just won't work. Think of this first post as my Post of Shame - everyone after this can only be positive (even if it is a post full of my whinging and whining about how hard it is).

This is me, taking the first step on my journey to find the woman hiding inside the other one.